Okay, seems that I've been going through shit the past two or three weeks. I mean, honestly, someone is not my friend anymore two weeks ago (well, serves her right, she's a hypocrite, anyway), a family friend died in late March (I received news of this the same two weeks ago, it became an article in the Filipino Reporter last weekend... Said family friend was my dance choreographer for my eighteenth birthday last year and at my best friend's sweet sixteen two years ago...), and the ex-friend and some others were against me on the forum chat and spammed the fucking Hell out of it to the point I was lagging and my friend, Kalta, was disconnected from it last night (well, excuse me for doing my job as a chat mod; you don't like it, tough). And no, I don't mean the NAL chat, but another chat outside DA onto a forum. I think I missed some others things in here (and if I do remember, I'll add more), but...

But I think this topped it. Ya see, it all started this morning...

Okay, I woke up, and noticed Mom left early for VNS work. I knew this because she did wake me up an hour and maybe a bit more earlier, asking for the hair dryer as she had no idea where it was. Well, I wasn't the last one to use it as I normally don't use the damn blow dryer (for my own reasons), I let my hair air dry after I'm done with my shower.

Anyway, got up, dressed up, go on the comp a bit, ate, then go out to leave for the bus stop to go to school. Before I left, I had make sure to get some padding for just in case since I felt my lower back aching and that is usually a sign/symptom for that time of the month to come.

As I walked, I noticed my vision was getting grainy. I'm not sure how to explain it, but my vision was getting fucked up because I see these splotches of brown interfering almost everywhere to the point I thought I would've been blind. And every few minutes during my walk, I rested on something to regain my eyesight. And during that walk, for some reason, my stomach was giving off this pain. The pain reminded me so much on how bad cramps were back then in middle school when I was starting my period. And I felt my heart racing and I felt a cold, clammy sweat at the back of my neck. I felt like I was going to puke.

After much walking, much of my vision fucked up, and getting some rest, I had somehow managed made it to the first bus stop. The pain in my stomach was unbearable, but I was trying to bite the bullet and live with it.

I get off to the second bus stop, waiting for my second bus. All the while, I was writhing in pain. The stabbing feeling in my stomach... Like, every few seconds, it goes away. Then, when I thought it was gone, it would come back. The whole going away, then coming back shit continued on, even as I was on the second bus stop.

When I dug into my bag and checked my cellphone, I saw I missed two calls from Geri (my boyfriend, who is known as Keiya too). I tried to call him back twice, but nothing. My phone rang again and it was him, but before I could pick up, I missed it again. I called him twice (?) again, then he picked up the second time. I felt like I was going to pass out as I talked to him, still in the bus on the way to the campus, I hated the pain.

I felt so desperate and helpless, in a lot of regret that I should've just stayed home if I knew that it was going to be like this.

Geri thought it would be constipation after telling him what I've been feeling the past couple of minutes, all the while squirming because of the abdominal pain. But, nonetheless, he told me to go ask my mom what this was since she may know more of it (after all, she is a nurse). I still plan on telling her this when I get home, I'm scared out of my mind on what this could be. [EDIT (1:30 PM): Mom came home unexpectedly (well, she told me she came home because she wants to eat and, then, she'll go out to work again) and, after explaining what had happened, she said it's because it may be because of not enough sleep and not eating on time. o_O Is that really all? Because even with some lack of sleep and eating late, I'm always fine. I mean, this is the first time experiencing this, so it's not like this happens every time I lack sleep and eat late.]

After getting off the phone from Geri (perfect timing since I was already dropped off to the campus), I walked. Man, that was awful. Though something did interfere in my vision time to time, I still struggled to go to my history class, despite the long walk. And yes, I was cursing on my way there in my head, cursing on how the campus was spacious despite it being a community college.

Once I came into class, the overwhelming nausea was gonna have me pass out. But nonetheless, I practically plopped into my chair with notebooks and all, exhausted from the walk (normally, I wouldn't be, but with this current weakness...).

As a headache emerged during all of this, I decided to rest my head a bit. XD Haha, Professor Pearl made a joke about me sleeping and dreaming of the upcoming exam (that made me smile a little, despite the grim assessments that I had), but I did tell him I was sick and not sleeping. He was concerned (thank you) and asked me if I wanted to go home, but I refused to since it took me a lot of effort to get here in spite of my body being an asshole to me.

And so, I kept my head down, listening to the lecture. And normally, I would take notes in the class, but I was just so sick. The pain in the stomach was still there, with the whole coming and going away pattern, but I had somehow managed to endure it. I know, during one point of the class, I sat up despite being a little disoriented.

When I was done with class, oddly enough, I felt better. The stomach pain and other things was gone, maybe except for a slight headache and maybe some dizziness still remaining.

I went off to eat lunch. Then, on my walk back to my bus stops and on my way home wasn't all that bad.

Still, though...

How scary...

I thought I was going to really go unconscious or something else that time.